Target locked

Have you ever wondered if you're doing what you're supposed to with your life? I know I do. A lot.

For anyone that knows me, they know that I am an extremely indecisive person. Simply things such as what to eat for dinner, turn into a stare down because I can't decide. So when it came to what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, the decision was not easy. In college, I have switched my major quite a few times. I say I just like every major, but perhaps there is another reason.

I've always liked to believe that I was invincible. That no matter what life threw my way, I could conquer it, and although I still believe that, I believe fear is something that is always with us. Is it possible that I'm afraid of the future and what it might hold? I'm starting to believe that just like other college seniors, I'm starting to panic about what life after college holds for me.



Even though I come off as an easy-going person most of the time, I'm a planner. I like to know what's going to happen and how things are being done. With future being something ambiguous, it doesn't rest easy with me. Just thinking about graduating and having to find a job, makes my heart rate increase and breathing get heavy. It panics me.

I'm not nervous that I won't find a job. I've had a few job offers already, but how am I supposed to know if that's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Am I supposed to stay in the Ada area? Or am I supposed to move back to my hometown? I've always that about traveling, what if I want to do that? All the uncertainties, just scare me. Am I being irrational? Yes, but it is a serious problem that I have.

Throughout the summer, I found myself contemplating my future quite a bit. I talked about it to a few people and am happy to say that I finally have an answer to what I want to do for the rest of my life. That answer is...



... I have no freaking idea! I'm only 22 years old. I have my whole life ahead of me. No one said I had to have it all figured out before I graduate. In five years, if I don't like where I am, I can always find a new job, or even go back to school if I want. Not many people know from the time they're five what they want to do with their life, so why on earth do I have to have it figured out? I don't have to, and that's good, because right now I'm just a girl enjoying my life while I still can.